Yesterday Chase confessed a prurient interest in under-aged virgins. I must now put my lawerly skills to work in an effort to prevent him from serving time. I know he wouldn’t be raw fed at the jail, and he’s not capable of using the day room weight equipment, so his over-all fitness and well-being would suffer.
I’m going to hit up one of our more sympathetic judges (Jerri — who has a couple of Cardigans herself, but no blog) for a Conditional Discharge with probation. I’ll enlist Laura P to oversee the probationary period. She’s had lots of experience, has had a flying encounter with Chase, and knows he’s not a bad sort. He could be on house arrest during his term of probation. The biggest problem I foresee is that, even with counseling, I doubt we can redirect his criminal interests. This young man may never overcome his infatuation with the female anatomy.
It would be such a shame to have him incarcerated for most of the rest of his life. The only upside, if there is one, is that he might meet the famous Dennis the Vizsla.