Working Out Chase’s Pre-Indictment Plea

June 11, 2009

Yesterday Chase confessed a prurient interest in under-aged virgins.  I must now put my lawerly skills to work in an effort to prevent him from serving time.  I know he wouldn’t be raw fed at the jail, and he’s not capable of using the day room weight equipment, so his over-all fitness and well-being would suffer.

I’m going to hit up one of our more sympathetic judges (Jerri — who has a couple of Cardigans herself, but no blog) for a Conditional Discharge with probation.  I’ll enlist Laura P to oversee the probationary period.  She’s had lots of experience, has had a flying encounter with Chase, and knows he’s not a bad sort.  He could be on house arrest during his term of probation.  The biggest problem I foresee is that, even with counseling, I doubt we can redirect his criminal interests.  This young man may never overcome his infatuation with the female anatomy.

It would be such a shame to have him incarcerated for most of the rest of his life.  The only upside, if there is one, is that he might meet the famous Dennis the Vizsla.


  1. Sharrie Brockhaus says:

    Boys!!! Does he understand the “knife” threat?

  2. Janet says:

    I don’t know – I’m not sure how much patience Laura has for sex offenders.

  3. Ariel says:

    Snort! so so funny 🙂

  4. Sandy says:

    Slow day at the office? I know Chase’s type and boy, is he going down the wrong road. Around here he would already have his ankle bracelet on and would be starting his anger management classes and alcohol evaluation.

  5. Claire says:

    So bad, but so cute.

  6. Lybertygirl says:

    Chase will have to supervised by the Sex Offender Unit and go on electronic monitoring. Wonder if they make an ankle bracelet small enough for a Cardi?

    Tell Chase he better stop or he will end up on the Sex Offender Registry and then everyone will know about his complusions.

    Laura P – AKA Lybertygirl

  7. hello penni its dennis the vizsla dog hay ummmmm gosh underaydj virjins??? i am not so shoor that chase wood be put in the jeneral popyoolayshun ware i am i meen we hav daynjerus karakters heer like bugs bunny wot mite not tayk kindly to sumwun akyoozd of crimes of that naytcher ok bye