Notes From the Asylum

January 15, 2010

I sure wish someone lived with me (a human someone).  I’m not at all lonely, but I have no one on whom to blame really stoopid acts.  This morning in the mad dash to get to work — because I had lots of things to do — I apparently (well, it can’t be apparently because there is no other way for this to have happened) closed the kitchen gate with the Holmes-puppy in the living room/dining room area.  Inca and Phoebe were in the kitchen-laundry room – half bath/dog door area.  Holmes-puppy was where there is no dog door — only rugs, books, pottery, furniture, cushions, table legs, chair legs, cherry bookshelves — and he was locked in there for nine hours.

During those nine hours, it appears he did only one bad thing — and, bless his little puppy heart, I can’t blame him — he pooped.*  Then (here’s where I stop blessing his little puppy heart) he played in it.  I didn’t like the rugs anymore anyway.  Now it’s definitely time for them to leave.  He’s eaten the edging off, though Inca started the process two years ago, and, as of today, they smell like puppy poop.  What idjit would leave a puppy loose and unattended with rugs, books, pottery, furniture, cushions, table legs, chair legs, and cherry bookshelves for nine hours?  Only one idjit lives here!

* I expect he piddled as well, but the rugs are a dark pattern so I can’t find where that might have happened — and it’s the least of my worries.


  1. Taryn says:

    Well, now besides a new accent wall in the kitchen, you can add a new rug to your home improvement project, but just wait long enough for Holmes to be 100% on the housebreaking. I am thankful to hear that he didn’t devour anything that would have caused intestinal problems!

  2. Dawn says:

    WOW, what a good puppy. Are you sure I cant steal him from you? I can swap you one that is guaranteed to still be a baddog.

  3. Sharrie Brockhaus says:

    When I do idgit things like that, (which I do) I can blame it on my age. It seems that my old brain cannot handle a whole bunch of details like that. Just one little extra, and something can get forgotten. Holmes was an exemplary little furry creature considering his age. Sometimes dogs just leave you scratching your head when they do something so good!

  4. Jean from NM says:

    I think George did it. George was a mysterious figure who lived with my brother and his kids years ago, and whenever a glass got broken, or something disappeared, or the last cookie somehow was no longer there, the standard answer was “George did it.” I bet George has moved in with you. 🙂

  5. Garrett says:

    WOW. I was expecting complete disaster and mayhem, with an innocent puppy on the couch looking at you like’ Oh hey mom, what’s up?”

    Too cute. Maybe he ISN”T all bad dog….at least not yet 🙂

  6. Janet says:

    Oh – you fared much better than I did the day baby Spencer figured out how to open the xpen. I came home and there he was, in his expen, but with the door open. He is sprawled out in the frog dog position, head flat on the floor, looking up at me with sad dog eyes.

    I was shocked to see the door open and started looking around to see what he might have gotten into, but everything seemed to be in place. So I picked him up and loved on him and told him what a good boy he was.

    But then I noticed that door in the kitchen that goes downstairs to the den was open. Uh oh. The stairs were off limits – don’t want any puppy injuries, you know. Well, I went downstairs and just about sat down and cried.

    You know what happens when a puppy claw or tooth grabs hold of a loop of berber carpet? It is not a pretty sight. He had pulled out about 3 square feet of carpet. There were piles of wool everywhere.

    TO THIS DAY – if I walk in and he is flat to the floor in frog dog, I start looking for what he got into.